Let Go

Prompt 5: Let Go
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
(Author: Alice Bradley)


I know my answer to this but am having trouble putting it into words.

I always imagined myself living in a city (New York, to be exact). I went to college in Philly and lived there a total of five years; I loved those years. I danced during the day, waitressed at night, went out with my friends after that. Sure, I was young and that's what you're supposed to do in your early 20's, but I really kind of liked that life. Sure, I wanted to get past the late night work hours and get a steadier job, but the point was that I was living right in the middle of a city, in the middle of it all. I could walk or cab it everywhere, I didn't need to worry about a car, and there was a whole host of things to do, places to go, and people to see. I wanted to get out of Philly only because I wanted to move back to New York.

Then I met Scot. He changed my life in so many ways. When I finally moved in with him, we settled on a town immediately north of DC so that I could get my dose of "city" by taking a 20 minute metro ride, but we were still in a sort-of suburban area, which is much more his style. The reason we didn't move to New York together is because of his job; it's a good one, and he needs to stay in the DC area for it. I figured, hell, DC is still a city and I needed a change of pace anyway, plus I didn't actually have a "real" job so I could pretty much move where ever.

Since then, we've really made a life for ourselves down here. I've made some amazing friends, have just started a great career, and Scot is advancing in his. But every now and then, I get these pangs of nostalgia and sadness, of some sort.. this is totally not the life I always thought I'd be living. It's much different. But it's different in a really good, content way. I've grown to be much more ok with living in the quasi-suburbs that we are in right now, and am getting more keen on the idea of even moving a little farther away from DC so that we can have a dog and a yard, and maybe even a kid or two one day. I guess you could say I'm become more settled, and I think it suits me really well.

So, what did I let go of this year? I finally let go of my dream of always living in a city. But it's not a bad thing; I got to experience it for part of my life, and I will always carry that with me. Besides, who knows what life has in store the future? It's clear that I sure don't!

PS. Don't get me wrong.. I love where I am right now. Just being as honest as I can be ;)