Which sucks.
But I could never write it as appropriately or nicely as this blogger did. So here goes:
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Does Friendship Really Have Expiration Dates?
My best quality, in my opinion, is what a good friend I am. I am the friend you can call in the middle of the night, who will drop everything and be there for you. I remember birthdays and anniversaries and send cards. I babysit, listen, and care.
I hang on to friendships forever, as they are precious to me. My two closest friends have been in my life from the time we were 13 and 16, respectively. And these are friendships I cherish.
I'm learning as I get older that friendships don't always last forever. Most don't. People come in and out of your life with nary a care and some people don't even notice. I'm the type of person when a friendship starts to fade, I cling more, call more, email more, and when the silence on the other end continues it is deafening to me. I have to learn to let go, give up more easily. The person on the other end isn't a bad person; they are just busy, or maybe mad, or decided they are at a different point in their life. Who knows really?
I hang on to things that have long reached an expiration date for me as well, because at one point they were my friends and I feel like they should still be. Even people that hurt me or take advantage of me or I get nothing out of the relationship. I continue in the relationship just because at one point we were friends and that meant something, even though now it is harder and harder to figure out why exactly.
One of my close friends once said to me, "You know what your problem is, you think all friendships should last forever. And they don't. Some aren't supposed to. Some people are supposed to come into your life for a period of time and leave a mark and leave. And that's ok. There is nothing wrong with that."
I'm learning. I'm hoping it is a lesson that gets easier with time.
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So that's that.. anyone else have this (unfortunate) situation in their lives? How do you deal with possibly losing a friend, or rather, a friendship?
9 comments:
I have had friendships come and go. Really good friendships that are just torn apart my time and life changes. I don't tend to cling. I do, once in a blue moon, contact said friends just to see how they are doing, but that's about it.
I first learned this lesson one I first entered college - a lot of my friends and I went to the same college but fell apart for one reason or another. It was hard at first but now I've learned that some friendships are better to let go because they can be bad for you. For other, more positive friendships, I try to at least remain friendlyc with them, hoping that later on in life, we can go back to being really great friends.
Did you really just post this, because she took the words out of my mouth!!?
I unfortunately had this situation happen to me a few months ago, with my MOH/"ex" BFF. She simply just disappeared out of our lives. No reason given. Just POOF! Gone. "I NEED SPACE."
It's been four months since I've spoken to her and I've come to peace with the whole situation. (IE. My blog prompt #4).
It's sad when it does happen, but life does go on. Everything happens for a reason... Cest La Vie
I've definitely had this happen to me, and I've also been the one to end friendships. I'm not so good at the ending part because I never know the graceful way to do it. It's hard, and it's sad. I can definitely relate to this post. Unfortunately, I don't have good advice because I haven't figured it.
I've definitely had this happen to me, and I've also been the one to end friendships. I'm not so good at the ending part because I never know the graceful way to do it. It's hard, and it's sad. I can definitely relate to this post. Unfortunately, I don't have good advice because I haven't figured it.
I have had this happen to me and I was truly hurt but since then I have learned to let friendships go if you are no longer getting anything from them. There doesn't have to be a fight or fall out, you just see them/contact them less and less until you just bump into them once in a blue moon.
Saying that, two of my friends I have been friends with for 32 years so a really really good friend will be there for the duration.
I'm definitely one who thinks friendships cycle.
When I was in elementary school I had 5 best friends and by the time we went to high school they had all chosen to go to the private high school in town whereas I wanted to go public.
In high school I had a friend totally ditch our group one day and never come back.
Recently I had a friend who started to be really clingy and I didn't want to deal with drama so I had to step away. It was hard but I'm not sure that most friends are meant to be in your life forever.
You hit the nail on the head. I'm one that clings to a friendship as long as I can. It sucks because sometimes friendships fade and it's almost harder than a breakup with a guy, it's a friend. That stings just a bit more. :/
this is such a hard part of growing up.
I had one really close friend in uni that was one of those people that would most definitely be in my wedding party... but then we moved out (we lived together in a house of girls) and it just fizzled. She now lives on the other side of the country and we never talk.
When she still lived here.. my heart was literally broken, but what can you do when they won't put the effort in? Eventually you just have to move on.
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