Truth is, life is feeling very stagnant for me right now.
The more time that goes by, the more anxious I am getting about not having a "real" massage therapy job yet. I graduated in July of 2010, and it's somehow 7 months later, and I'm still working my 8 to 4 job, sitting on my butt all day, getting absolutely nothing accomplished. Sure, I work at my school's grad clinic and intern with a practical class, so at least I'm doing something massage related.. but it's not enough. I want to get out there and practice, work on people, put my skills to use.
I'm still waiting for my licenses to go through. I finally had enough money to pay the exorbitant amounts required for Maryland and DC, and now it's a waiting game. The DC license should go through soon, but I won't get the Maryland one until April, most likely, for various reasons. I can (and am) still apply for jobs in the meantime to see what's out there, but it's limiting.
The problem is, I don't want to take the first job offer I get. I know I want to work with athletes and/or prenatal clients, but there is so much extra training that goes into learning about each field. I certainly can't start off that way.. I'll need to build up to it, as with any job. But I feel as though I'm running into a road block; I don't know if I'll be able to find the right place I want to work right away. I am tired of taking jobs just because they are there. I did it through college, and I'm doing it now. I want to make sure I'm happy, and not in yet another job that is just "passing the time" until I find a better one.
I would love to work one or two places part time, work my way up and see how things go. But I can't. There's this pesky little thing called money and a paycheck that I need to earn. Scot and I chose to live in a rather pricey (for us) apartment because we could afford it on his and my current salaries. But seeing as I'm switching careers, to one that doesn't pay all that much initially in the first place.. well, it just makes it harder. And I need to whine about this, because it's getting so incredibly frustrating.
Pouty McPoutpants.
We need money to live, of course, but we're also in the market for getting a second car. Another car means I can widen my job search to places outside of the metro area, places that may not be directly metro accessible. We are also moving in October, most likely to a place farther away from a metro station in hopes that our monthly rent will decrease a bit. So.. a lot of changes. Oh, and we need to plan and pay for a wedding.
It gets more detailed than that, but we are trying to pay off my student loans and credit card debt and the like as well. We've refinanced a few things and juggled payments and our finances as a whole. We're not drowning, but I can't just have a part time job. And I can't do my full time job plus a part time job - I already tried that, and it doesn't work. I don't give good massages after working 8 hours, then pushing (physically) for another 5. It just isn't an option for me.
I guess I'm just scared about all the upcoming changes and frustrated with how relatively stuck I've been for the past two and a half years. I always thought I'd have it figured out by now.. that I'd be dancing in NY or LA or a cruise or something (I promise I'll post about this soon since I keep yapping about it). But I'm not. And I guess I'm having part 4532 of my quarter life crisis right now.
Anyway. Thank you for reading. Or not reading. I hope you're all having mucho better Thursday's!
10 comments:
I literally just got off the phone with Boyfriend and we were talking about our gigantic hospital bills and his school loan payments. We are forking out so much money a month it is ridiculous. Both of us have new cars and both of us were hospitalized last year. And both of us are paying for school. It really sucks. Where is my money tree?
Good luck lady. I feel your overworked vibes lately too - balancing life with what we want and where we need to go is just plain hard.
And sucky.
Ugh, I totally get the money thing. I was just thinking that maybe I'd write a post about our real life money situation but it's hard to admit that you're feeling stuck.
It stinks that your license is taking so long, I was going to suggest that you should do what we do at our work. We have a massage therapist come in once a week to give employees a massage at $1/minute and it's sooo nice!
I hope stuff gets figured out & that we all win the lottery!
I hear you loud and clear with the money thing. Maybe it's naive, but I do think that if you continue to work hard, you will find a job that pays the bills and is in the exact field you want. Don't forget that you can always keep applying to jobs even if you take one that's not perfect. Hopefully things will get better for you soon!
You deserve to have a job that you want and love, I hope you get there soon. Changing locations and getting a car may broaden your search and open up some new possibilities for you. I'm sending you good juju my friend!
life is too short to settle!!! chin up - things will work out for the best!!!
uggggghhh this is why I was to rewind back to high school and appreciate it more. Seriously. Being a grown up SUCKS.
I get this. I have a new car, and now I'm thinking about going back to school!??!/! Am I insane? Yes. Money sucks the big one.
I totally get your scary feelings. It's so hard to take risks at our age, because each paycheck is SOOOO important... damn paycheck to paycheck.
It'll happen :)
Ugh, I know it's so frustrating for things to fall into place for you. Being a grownup does indeed suck. I went through a period of almost a year before I had a teaching job (and I had to live with my parents, ew). But once I got the job, I knew it was meant to be! Things will fall into place for you... hang in there!!!
I feel every bit of this. :/ I wrote a post not too long ago lamenting the job change/bills to pay/time to learn something new problem as well. I don't know the answer. Hell, I'm 33 and I still don't have it all figured out, am trying to change careers and finish an undergrad degree....I thought I'd be something wonderful by now. :/ Someone once told me that we all ride in the boat but we don't always get to steer it in the direction we want. I guess that's true, as cheesy as it is.
Read The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace also by Dave Ramsey. You can also find a lot of info on www.daveramsey.com
hope that helps.
~RustiAnn
www.rustiann.blogspot.com
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