You introduced yourself a while back when we were on the same elevator together. I have hardly seen you since, but I sure have heard you and smelled you.
See, your new girlfriend that just moved in? She's a screamer, which I'm sure you know. Thing is, so does everyone around your apartment. If we can hear how amazeballs your sex life is through cement walls with the TV on.. I seriously hope you wear earplugs. Otherwise, you may need to invest in a hearing add prematurely.
Also, I get that cigarettes and nicotine are addicting. And that you don't want to stink up your apartment by smoking inside. But when you lean out over the balcony to smoke? It all wafts into our apartment. And cigarette smoke literally makes me sick to my stomach. I'm thinking of leaving a pack of nicotine gum in front of your door, and see if you get the hint. It's out of love, I promise.
So, dear neighbor, I would much prefer to randomly see you around the halls/building than hear you have sex and then smoke that (what I'm sure is a very satisfying) post-coital cigarette. Thanks.
All the best -
The 11th floor neighborhood watch committee
mew.
4 comments:
Hahaha! Awesome.
Not the rude neighbor, but the that the itteh bitteh kitteh committee does not approve. And OMG at the screamer...seriously??
lol we are soooo bloggy twins! I have the same problem. People upstairs... I've heard them twice in the last two weeks... at least they don't have sex that often...and he's a two pump chump because the screaming only lasts about a minute... but SOOO annoying!!!
I can't smell their cigs but they go out on the balcony above mine every half hour or so...so I'm constantly hearing the door sliding. They just moved in and I want them gone ASAP.
Cigarette smoke is disgusting and makes me want to hurl. I fully support you putting nicotine gum at his door step.
Also, I want all the kittehs...
LOL. Hilarious. I've definitely had that neighbor before. So weird.
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